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What brings you joy?
Take a moment, not just to think about the big things, but the quiet moments too. The warmth of the sun on your skin. A laugh shared. A small act of kindness.
Each of us will answer differently, because each of us is shaped by our own path. But what connects us is the same quiet truth; that joy can be found in unexpected places, and that it’s always worth following when it appears.
Yet for many, joy can feel distant. Sometimes, even unreachable.
One in four people will experience suicidal thoughts. For some communities, that risk is even higher. Eight in ten transgender people have experienced suicidal thoughts, and women in their first year after leaving prison are 36 times more likely to take their own life than those around them.
These are not just numbers. They are reminders of how deeply we all need connection, compassion, and hope, and how vital it is that we reach out, listen, and look for one another.
Maybe you’ve had moments when life felt too heavy, or when you wondered whether it was still worth carrying on. If that feels familiar, please remember that you’re not alone, and that reaching out can be the first step back toward light and connection.
‘While suicide can seem like the only way to deal with your situation, there’s ALWAYS another option – even if that feels impossible right now’
– CALM
Sometimes, it helps to hear from someone who has been there.
Hello, my name is Cheryl.
I’ve known what it feels like to lose sight of joy completely, to reach a place where I no longer wanted to be alive. It’s an incredibly isolated space. In my experience, there was nothing and no one, even though I was married and had four beautiful children. I became a shell of myself, empty and disconnected.
Medication didn’t help. I couldn’t remember if I’d eaten or not. I didn’t want to do anything.
My youngest son saved my life. He was still little when he came to me after a dream. In it, I was falling, and I was taking him with me. That moment jolted me awake. How could I be so selfish?
That day, I made a promise: even if those thoughts ever returned, I would never act on them. For the love of my children. For my joy. And they have returned, at times, but I hold onto that promise.
I’ve realised that we will always do more for others than we will for ourselves. It’s a strange but true concept. I’m still learning that we need to do more for ourselves, because only then can we truly give more to others. Self-care and healthy boundaries are vital, and it’s something I’ve only truly learned later in life.
Today, I’m fortunate to share my story, and to share the great work being done at NHS Oxleas Forensic and Offender Health Services through Lessons from Lives Lost.
Annie Dale and the team at NHS Oxleas have completed a review of more than 200 lives lost. On Friday 31 October, they delivered the Lessons from Lives Lost Conference to a packed room.
We heard from Annie herself, Emily Delve (PSI Lead), and a wide range of voices including Officers, a Coroner, an Inquest Barrister, a PPO Investigator, and a GP.
Dr Liz Walsh, Professional Lead for Justice and Forensic Nursing at the RCN, spoke about the impact on practice and introduced a new reflective tool published this year for Health in Justice professionals:
Walsh L. Time to reflect again on prison nursing. Br J Nurs. 2025 Nov 6;34(20):1012. doi: 10.12968/bjon.2025.0419. PMID: 41196759.
Annie also introduced DETRACTS+, the framework developed from Lessons from Lives Lost.
I’ve had the privilege of contributing to this work through Ashfield Services, which Annie kindly shared during the conference. Together, we have brought her vision to life through Practical Suicide Intervention Skills: Working with Thoughts of Life Not Worth Living (TLNWL).
So far, four cohorts have completed the training, showing promising increases in confidence among participants. This course will continue to evolve as we receive feedback from learners, who include Mental Health Nurses, Adult Nurses, Paramedics, Pharmacists, and Psychiatrists.
One of the most heartwarming pieces of feedback came from a psychiatrist who shared:
“Excellent course, one of the best I have attended addressing suicidal ideation, how to approach and deal with high-risk patients. Cheryl was fantastic and made us feel comfortable, allowing plenty of time and multiple opportunities to discuss and address any questions.”
The conference and these training sessions have been supported by the incredible Professional Nurse Advocates at NHS Oxleas, who continue to create safe spaces and listen to anyone who needs that support.
If you believe this training could benefit your organisation, please get in touch with Ashfield Services by emailing training@ashfieldservices.co.uk
And if you have been affected by, or know anyone struggling with similar thoughts, please reach out to Samaritans or CALM, who are always there to listen.
Thank you for taking the time to read and reflect. Together, we can keep these conversations alive.
Cheryl Angco
Clinical & Quality Assurance Team Lead
Ashfield Services
Samaritans – https://www.samaritans.org
Whatever you’re going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. We’re here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
Call 116 123 for free or email JO@SAMARITANS.ORG
CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably – https://www.thecalmzone.net
If you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, CALM can help you.
There’s always a reason to stay. Talk to us to find the support you need to feel better.
0800 58 58 58 or Live Chat or What’s App
Our helpline is open 5pm – midnight every day. Our helpline staff are here to help you explore how you’re feeling.